When you little daughter comes to you telling you that she wants to get married, you should congratulate and tell her that you want to help.  She will be suspicious, but it is hard to turn down a volunteer.  Traditionally the largest cost of the wedding will be the reception.  This should be your focus.  Tell you daughter that you want to help find some sites.  Depending on how much advance notice that you have, you selection of sites may already be restricted.  Remember there are 2.3 million couples getting married every year and there are only 52 weekends in a year for the wedding to take place.  This translates into many of the best filling up fast.  Be creative, look at other avenues beyond the local Marriott. In the Northern Virginia area there are a number of parks available and historic houses (private and public).  You can even get married at many national monuments or museums.  Think of your daughter and her loves.  If you don’t know what she likes, maybe you should just go back to signing checks and being supportive.  This is a chance for you to be creative.  I’ve found Google to be one of my best sources of creative ideas.  Enter in “wedding site” and your local area code.  This will lead you to a number of sites in the area.  Then look at “wedding reception.”  Mix terms up and don’t stop until you can count at least three sites where you say I never would have thought of there.  Sure you can rent the VFW hall above the bar for a reasonable price, but is it where your daughter really wants to get married.  Check with your daughter’s fiancé, see if his family is willing to come to your area for the wedding.  To get my future son-in-law’s family to come from New York to Puerto Vallarta, you would have thought we had suggested Mogadishu, Somalia.  Basically, they offered West Manhattan as an alternative site. 

If you go for a destination wedding, many locations are much more inexpensive than the United States to get married.  If you pick an all-inclusive resort, which many are now catering to wedding parties, you will know exactly what it will cost. Or, if you opt for the guests to pay for their stay, then your cost is all but eliminated.  In our situation I rented two fabulous villas for five days in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.  They came with staff, so the cooking, cleaning and catering were basically incorporated.  We’re putting up overflow in the neighboring hotel.  I will be tipping a lot more people, but what the hell.  Take a look at the Villa Mia and the Casa Gran Dia at http://www.pvprop.com/rentals.htm. They were not cheap, but this way I was able to create a family reunion at the same time with a five day party, compared to spending as much on a one-day event.  If this is something you’re thinking about, remember the marriage laws are often different in other countries.